A blog by Jen Grace 16th September 2025
Healing Together: Mental Health & Family Dynamics
Welcome to a space where we talk openly about the emotional complexities of family, trauma, and healing.
Many families experience trauma not just individually, but together. When more than one person in a family goes through a traumatic event, especially during childhood or adolescence, the emotional wounds can become deeply intertwined. If these experiences aren’t acknowledged or supported, they often resurface later in life in ways that are confusing, painful, and difficult to talk about.
What Is Projected Trauma?
Projected trauma happens when unresolved pain is unconsciously redirected toward someone else, often a parent or close family member. This can look like:
- Emotional outbursts that seem disproportionate to the situation
- Blaming or resenting a parent for things they couldn’t control
- Feeling triggered by a parent’s behavior, even if it’s benign
- Repeating patterns of silence, avoidance, or conflict
How It Impacts the Parent
Parents who have also experienced trauma may feel:
- Guilt or shame for not “protecting” their child
- Confusion about why their adult child is angry or distant
- Emotional exhaustion from trying to repair something they don’t fully understand
- A sense of failure, even if they did their best with the tools they had
How It Impacts the Adult Child
Adult children may carry:
- A deep longing for validation or emotional safety
- Anger that feels misplaced but hard to let go of
- Difficulty trusting or connecting with their parent
- A fear of becoming “like them” or repeating the cycle
Why This Page Exists
This page is a safe space to explore these dynamics with compassion not blame. We believe:
- Healing is possible, even if the past was painful
- Families can grow stronger through understanding and communication
- Mental health conversations should be honest, inclusive, and stigma-free
Whether you're a parent, an adult child, or someone trying to make sense of your family story, you're welcome here. Let’s talk about what hurts, what heals, and how we move forward together.
The early grief days...
A blog by Robbie Archer 14th September 2025
2024 has been a weird one for me and my nearest and dearest. As the title suggests we have had some big changes and life events occur and we are ending the year with a set up that looks wildly different to how we entered it.
In January my grandfather- my Pamps died. I wrote in my eulogy how we would have always wanted more time with him. No amount of years would have ever been enough with the legend that was John Rudolf. I feel fortunate in a strange way that he died in January as I have had almost an entire 12 months of being able to say he died at the start of this year. I found it hard when my Granny died that after a short 6 months I already had to change my wording and tell people she had died the year before.
It seems like such a small thing when clearly the time since they died will always follow a linear path. But leaving all my new experiences with them both in the year they died feels like a wrench.
In addition to grief and ongoing life events (including the very mundane and some very lovely times!) we had some other life changing news; My mum has been diagnosed with incurable cancer.
Obviously- bit of a bummer!! Understatement of the year- I know but there aren’t really any words that accurately summarise this kind of news.
Mum went into hospital thinking she may need a knee replacement turns out broken femur and cancer of the bone marrow! Now as a family our 2025 plans are very much focused on cancer treatment, remission and slotting in other plans around that. Fortunately Mum has been put on a clinical trial and treatment is already well under way, chemo cycle 1 in the bag and the team caring for her are absolutely incredible.
Mum is updating her instagram with her journey to remission feel free to give her a follow if you are interested! - instagram nessiekayb
I am still going to be running the London marathon in April. After toying with the idea of deferring I decided against it as training has been giving me time to focus on myself and has given me a good structure while everything else in life has been looking wildly different. The only big downside of this is that my mum won’t be there to cheer me on as she will be in the trenches having undergone a stem cell transplant. Debating on purchasing a go pro and recording the entire 5+ hours to relive with mum but from the comfort of her bed- TBT will keep you updated on this one!
And that really is it, 2024 has been a bit of a rollercoaster! Although through it all my mental health has stayed on a pretty even keel and long may that continue because God knows mental stability will be useful going into 2025.
Here’s to healing, health and running this bloody marathon!
Robbie's Mum with Robbie
The Flight of Time
A blog by Jen Grace 6th September 2025
Childhood Waiting
When I was a child, seconds felt infinite. Standing in the school corridor, the worn linoleum was cool underfoot, chalk dust drifting in the air like fine pigment waiting to be stirred. Clutching my ticket for a bottle of milk and a packet of biscuits, I believed every tick of the clock stretched on forever.
A Teacher’s Promise
A kind teacher once told me, “Be patient, time will fly by when you’re older.” Her words settled on me like a gentle brushstroke on fresh linen, the soft scrape of sable bristles echoing in my ears. How could this steady, universal heartbeat ever speed up?
The Acceleration of Age
Between teenage plans and the rush of my twenties, the canvas of my life grew thick with layered pigment. Bold reds of ambition smeared into deep blues of uncertainty, the surface rising in subtle ridges I could trace with a fingertip. I watched each day fold into the next as if painted in hurried strokes.
River Currents and Painter’s Hands
Time moves like a quiet river: never rushing, never pausing, yet always carrying us forward. Its currents pull at memory’s edge, smoothing some moments into soft washes and carving others in crisp relief. And all the while, it is the painter, wielding a palette heavy with joy, sorrow, and love. You can feel the tension in the stretched canvas beneath each stroke, hear the faint click of an easel’s hinge as the scene catches light at dusk, and smell the lingering bite of linseed oil drifting on the evening breeze.
The Old Newspaper
Time is like an old, crisp newspaper once fresh and grey, its pages bright with headlines. But years have yellowed its edges, and the slightest touch sends flakes drifting away like dried paint chips. You open it, desperate for the warmth of those first reports, only to find the print faded and the scent of aged paper mingled with a whisper of turpentine on memory’s palette.
Embracing the Present
Every winter I catch myself counting down: “Just a few more weeks until gardens fade, then I’ll curl up by the fire.” In longing for tomorrow, I miss the full spectrum of today. To appreciate time is to pause and inhale the crisp tang of a frost-kissed morning, to feel the sticky warmth of fresh paint beneath my fingertips, and to let each color settle before reaching for the next brush.
Artwork by Jen Grace
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